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Midnight Isolation

by Maria F Rojas, 2024

Midnight Isolation 

I’m a girl.

I look at boys with eyes of passion, 

they, back with a prideful smirk. 

I want a brush of their touch and

submerge my pain into their arms.  

 

What a warmth he would bring to my life.

When I glance at him, I see a facade: 

6 ‘5, brown eyes, brown fluffy hair, skinny, cross around his neck. 

Knowing so much yet nothing from a stranger’s sight. 

Wishing to know, 

what his insides look like

divergent from the external. 

His beauty deceives.

Trips my eyes to look where I should not, 

the places I have gotten lost before, 

and still have not recovered the pieces of my lost, broken soul. 

 

The darkness of the night camouflages my love for him.

 

He, lost in motion,

I, found. 

My lovely distant distraction, 

glances at the ticking clock.

Is he waiting for me?

Ten feet from me, but I know his cologne, 

*Versace Eros.

 

Missing my chaos while focusing on my glimmering sun. 

 

Planning the perfect interaction, 

never having the courage to speak.

My mouth wants to kiss, but my mind is overwhelmed by his sight.

I freeze looking at him. 

body function is none

 

My pulse increases, my head starts to spin. 

I could pause life for him. 

Is he just in my mind? 

 

Glitches of reality and my fantasy start to synchronize,

I can’t tell the difference. 

What a joke am I.

 

I lose control over my body,

sweating and 

trembling

as he walks towards me.

 

“Is he ignoring me?”

 

He gets closer to me as the train approaches the station. 

“The midnight train,” 

the last one for the night. 

My train. 

He gets on.

I watch the doors close with him behind, 

I, left alone in the station 

dreaming of his touch.

 

What was his name?