Smile
Trying to be the only smile around
Radiating sparks from my pearly whites,
receiving nothing but frowns
Standing in a crowd of a hundred
on the subway car
Madness inspired by frustration drives people
One train car containing nothing
but stories full of pain
The daily cortisol
of rushing down the stairs
Probability of falling: high
The need to catch the next train
surpasses the risk
Different lives packed together,
not one familiar but tightly squeezed
All random strangers with ongoing thoughts
Closed by the border of their mouths
They see, think,
then quiet down out of fear of society
Many facades,
only locals detect sincerity
The fear when a homeless person walks by
yelling,
reminds me of the police report on the news last night
about five stabbings in the train
chills in my body
Constantly investigating body gestures,
seeing if my car will be the next victim
No other choice but to take that same system
because it’s 2.90
The innocent questions of a baby New Yorker,
“Where is the 6?”
Compared to “Where is Port Authority?”
From the pickpocketer
with angry expressions
The face tells a story,
the words deceive
One learns to differentiate
with the scars of scares
The inaudible words murmured across my seat
Unable to pinpoint a face,
none to see, looking down,
typing away their souls
A phone takes away the power of talk
No social interaction,
so we befriend technology
No hellos, no sweet asks,
no, please, and thank you
When walking into the subway,
reality hits
The hidden truth opens up
when the subway doors unlock
A new future at every stop,
walking in to meet what lies ahead
The wave of regret strikes
when there’s an emergency stop
and my mind remembers my fight with my mom
last night
Flashes before my eyes
I’m suffocating with strangers in a metal box
No way out, no touching the third rail,
no oxygen
Too many rules
to remember when a disaster strikes
I’m trapped
I’m living in a nightmare
I’m just trying to get to school
I have a math test next period
I’m running late,
cutting it too close to that first bell
My mind forgets s=rθ,
occupied with escaping a possible end
The agonizing moment
of being left under the Earth
with people who aim to hurt
I need to yell
but I must hold my composure to save my life
I want to hold onto someone
and not this cold pole
Someone who can comfort me,
but who are these people?
Their eyes full of sorrow,
overwhelmed by deadlines and schedules
No one seems to care until death is facing them
One turns their attention to the tiny red light,
ignored until it’s the last sign of hope
A red button can’t save a life
It can dictate to others when it’s about to be taken away
But, yet again
this is a regular 8 AM routine
*The unfortunate adrenaline*
What has life become?
The mysteries of the NYC subway are held in my mind,
all close deaths
none successful at taking my life in a breath.